Thinking of You
by defy.expectations
Summary: One shot- Song fic. A year since Beck was killed in a car accident on the way home from school. See how Jade copes without him, and what's changed in her life.


**I've decided to write a song one-shot for Beck and Jade. The song is "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry. Warning: Kind of sad, I guess. Seeing as Beck is 'dead'. I've changed some lyrics to make it fit a little easier.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own vicTORIous, nor do I own Katy Perry or any of her songs.**

Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection,  
_He was perfect, my kind of perfect. They say nobody is perfect but let me tell you he's perfect for me. It's true, once you've had perfection you can't get anything better. But I lost him, a year ago. _

Like an apple hanging from a tree  
He picked the ripest one, and still got the seed,  
_Beck picked me, Jade West. Possibly the worst seed in school, but I happened to be the ripest. We fit perfectly, until he was killed in a car accident on the way home from school one afternoon. The memory never fades, it hurts Beck, why did you leave me? I miss you. _

You moved on, where do I go?  
I guess second best is all I will know.  
_Nothing, nothing will compare to you. I promise you that I'll never forget you, my first love, the first person to break through my inner walls that I'd built up to hide the real me. I wish you'd just burst through the door and take me away, because in your arms I'd like to stay. Warm and comfortable, the perfect fit. _

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you.  
_I had no choice but to try and move on, and I have. Elliot is nice but he's no you. He never will be. I promise I won't love him as much as I love you. I promise you Beck._

Thinking of you, what you would do  
If you were the one who was spending the night,  
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes.  
_Do you remember the nights in your RV, where we would sit there and watch 'Full House' on your old beat up tv? I still do. I remember looking into your chocolate brown eyes, the ones I could melt into. His eyes aren't as perfect as yours, his are green, there's nothing wrong with them… They're just not yours, it makes me upset._

You're like an Canadian Summer in the middle of winter,  
I'm like a hard candy with a surprise centre,  
_I'll continue to celebrate your birthday, and our relationships anniversary. I still go out for coffee, sit there in shop and drink it. I even buy your favourite and drink it, it tastes bad, but I put up with it, because it makes me feel closer to you. I live in your RV Beck, in the front lawn at my parents' house; they understand why I live there. It still smells of you, it always will. _

How do I get better once I've had the best?  
_You're the best thing I've ever had in my life, I love you with everything inside of me and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that as often as I thought it. I still wear your flannel shirts, I don't dare cut any of them, I even stopped shredding up objects with my scissors; because I know it's something you would have wanted. I'm not as destructive anymore, I still cut up the janitors trashcans every now and then, but nothing of yours; I promise._

He kissed my lips; I taste your mouth.  
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself.  
_It doesn't feel the same, his embrace, and his lips. None of it does. There's no competition, there will never be; your my first love, will always be and he couldn't come close. It feels wrong Beck, I wish you could just burst through the door and rescue me from this prison. I feel empty without you, but I continue on because I'm being strong for the both of us. _

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you, what you would do  
If you were the one who was spending the night  
Oh, I wish that I was looking into  
You're the best, and yes, I do regret  
How I could let myself let you go.  
_You left me Beck, you promised you'd never leave me, but you did. Was this God or something? Was this his doing? I don't understand how someone could take you away from me! We're perfect together, balance each other out. I think sometimes I let you go, not being able to tell you to hold on, and not to stop fighting. I'm sorry, that I didn't; the nurses say I was unconscious. I wish you would have held on, to just feel the warmth of your lips, it would've been heaven. But when I'm old and wrinkly, I'll be with you. Like we said, forever and always. _

Oh, won't you walk through?  
And bust in the door and take me away?  
Oh, no more mistakes  
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay.  
_I miss you Beck. I visit your parent's every now and then, to make sure they're okay. They hug me and tell me I'm welcome around anytime, no matter what. It's stupid to think they're more accepting of me now that your gone, but I'm more like you now, nicer; occasionally. I sit on the couch, watching 'Full House' with the blankets wrapped around me, thinking of you. I wait for the RV door to burst open, and for you to run over and pick me up in your embrace, warm and loving. For us to live happily ever in a fairy tale, but this isn't a story. I love you Beck, your my best friend, my first love, you complete me. I love you. –The best widowed girlfriend in the world, Jade._

**So… I cried while writing this, I hope people like it. I don't like writing about my favourite characters dying, but I heard the song and thought it could make a good story. Please review, it means a lot. –Shelby.**


End file.
